It's winter! What a surprise!

There once was a time, when humankind was living in a blissful 25 °C summer weather all year long. Till the year of 2009 reached its end. This was when things changed. Dramatically.

Something new could be seen on the horizon. It got colder than 25°C. It started to rain. But because it was cold, the raindrops froze. They formed little crystals. Every one different from its sibbling. They covered the land in a white coat. They offered peace and tranquillity. They didn't know humans. They didn't know they were causing chaos. They did not know of an invention called: the train.

For humanity, who had never before experienced such vicious little creatures, these little snowflakes meant breakdowns. Chaos. Delays.

It could be a nice story if it was true. Oh wait! It is! At least from the train companies' point of view. They are acting like there has never ever before been winter, snow, ice and cold temperatures. Otherwise there is no rational explanation for their behaviour.

On my way to Germany I was the luckiest person in the world with catching a Eurostar in the day I had booked a ticket. The German railway service had cancelled every single train from Belgium to Germany! The Thalys was bursting. If anyone would have wanted us to buy valid tickets I guess he would have been killed so they just let it be.

Back wasn't better. My ICE broke down in Aachen. There was a rail replacement service from Aachen to Liege. But nor with coaches. With buses designed for inner city public transportation. Not designed for motorways. Which was the reason one of them (my bus of course) broke down in Liege before we reached the station. No kidding. The Belgian Rail Service let us go the last way to Brussels without charging again.

When I arrived at the Eurostar Terminal in Brussels there had already been two cancellations that day. But to be honest: I doubt it was the weather. They did not have enough passengers for one train so cancelled it, booked everybody into the next train so that it was full and blamed the weather. Luckily it was my train. So I got to London in time.

But seriously people: winter is not something unknown and scary. It comes every year. Has been for a couple of million years now. It is cold, wet and partly full of snow. That is no news.

There can be breakdowns of course. But please, please don't act as if they were the most unpredictable thing in the world. They are not.

So long, Tini

Brighton

I went out of the train station. Nothing. I started walking downhill. People were moving in the same direction so I was sure I was right. But still nothing. Suddenly the slightest hint of salt in he air. I may have imagined it. No! Definitely! Here it was again. My pace is increasing. I am nearly running downhill now. Then: seagulls. Shrieking. Flying. I must be very near. And then I go over a little hill and finally can see it. Down the road there it is waiting for me. The sea.

I have finally made it to the English South Coast. I am in Brighton which was recommended by my housemates and the travel guide. Therefore it had to be good, right? Located on the South Coast of England Brighton is about an hour away from London and thus perfect for a day trip. So I, in train, in skirt. It is warm in London. Not in Brighton however. At least not that warm. The wind is strong (how stupid am I? I am on the coast! Of course there is strong wind! Silly!).
Anyway I came to see the sea and I saw it. I even managed to get rid of my shoes and stand in it. Brave me it was effing cold. BUT it was summer there was a hint of sun and no rain therefore feet in water has been a must. Since I did not catch a cold I do not regret it.
Brighton has a lovely town centre with narrow streets and a lot of weird shops. Anybody who loves hippie clothes, secondhand vinyl or cupcake lipstick is in paradise.
I at my first fish and Chips since I came here on the beach. Since I lost my camera in Edinburgh (more on that later) my photos are limited. Sorry. Hope the description helps nevertheless.

See ya, Tini

Glimpses of homesickness

I am very surprised about myself. I feel perfectly fine here in London and am still enjoying every minute although daily routine is starting to kick in and is keeping me on the chouch on the weekends rather than letting me explore the still very deep unknown depth of London's bits and pieces.
But sometimes a tiny little hint of homesickness is dripping through the umbrella of having a wonderful time. The other day I was queueing in the post office to return a dress I had ordered online. Post office queues in the UK do not in any way vary from those in other countries. They are long, slow moving and only a few counters are open during lunch break. But I did not know how much the parcel or the envelope that transported my dress would be and because I am still not understanding every single word of Carribean spiced Cockney I was also a little afraid that I would get a gruffy customer service (lol) person again. Anyway I was standing in that line and just wishing I was home. To be precisely not home as in Paradeplatz Post office blinded by yellow light and a clumpsy post horn but in an environment where I knew exactly what to expect. Since these feelings occur in situations that would be gone if I had lived here for a couple of months I am not worried about them or my ability to get along in a rather unknown environment. But it reminds me escpecially of one thing. That the concept of home is something I am unlikely to experience for quite some time. I do not know how my life will be after the end of October. Where I will go, what I will work and even not the country I will live in, let alone the city or flat. And this is what I am missing. A prospect of my future. Where I can create a home in.
I am not really worried about this. This is a time everybody goes through more or less. And it gave me a new definition of home. Home is where the heart is. Sometimes it is in a stupid German Post office queue.

Cheers, Tini

Maintaining living standards

Hello my fellow Non-London-followers (the London people too of course),
as I have mentioned about a zillion times before, I love London. And yet, I came to wonder about something a couple of times last month. It is really really hard to live organically.
I come from a German city that is plastered with organic supermarkets on nearly every corner, so I am sorta spoiled in being able to find everything one needs to live an organic life (which as most people know I try to do). I know at least five places where I can get organic fruit, vegetables, dairy, noodles, toiletries, cleaning products etc in one shop.
I mean I am living in one of world's most exciting cities with nearly 9 million other people. I´t is therefore easy to assume I wouldn't have any problems maintaining my organic living standard I have developed in Germany. BUT no. It took me nearly a month and some half-decent google research to find a shop that is selling organic soy yoghurt that is not literally on the other side of the city. There should be other lacto-intolerant people here right? At least some vegans? Come on people where are you hiding (and more importantly: where are you shopping??)?
I can get organic food in Tesco's or Sainsbury's but just carrots (sometimes), milk (sometimes) and yoghurt (sometimes). But I cannot eat that much dairy so I have to rely on soy products. And here come the problems.
I can live without organic supermarkets. But the little nice shops that are selling organic goods are all on the North of the river (I am not) and close when a working person is leaving the office. There are a lot of delivery services for organic veggies but they are not worth the trouble for just three months.
So I keep on searching.


Cheers, Tini

Cycling in London for Dummies

Since Lucy sadly returned to Berlin for two weeks and after that will attend the Edinburgh fringe she is lending me her bike till the end of August.

Now the manual:

What you need

I am now the sitter of Genevieve (the bike), a helmet, a jacket that is so yellow people sure will be blinded when they see me, three locks and the same number of keys. This is the Basic lay-out if you want to cycle the Royal streets of London.

The surroundings

Traffic in London reminds me a lot of certain South East Asian Cities i.e. Phnom Penh. It is immensly crowded, people with just two wheels pretty much drive how they feel right now (wiggly lines seem to be very popular) and only cars and buses respect red traffic lights (technically there are no buses in Phnom Penh. If they would have stopped at red traffic lights... who knows). There is on major difference though: everything here is faster. A lot faster. Meaning: while in Phnom Penh nobody worried about your pace as long as you didn't stop in London they can not overtake you easily because big buses and quite narrow streets... well, you get the picture. So to the " do not stop under any circumstances other than immediate danger to your very life or others" (a subject that can be defined very differently by varous people in various situations) comes the "the minimum velocity must not under any circumstances, I repeat, must not under any circumstances fall under 20 mph!". I can cycle very fast by now.

How to adress the streets

In London streets are divas. They like to go with the latest fashion. Holes are very much en vogue. They also encourage you to play. Because of the holes you have to cycle in slalom which can be very funnyt sometimes, e.g. when a bus is right behind you.
They are allergic to a non-observing behaviour. If you are on an intersection keep in mind that there are FOUR streets not only two or three. The neglegted street will react quite bitchy in spitting out an unlimited number of cars.
I have learned to respect the streets.

Getting around

Oh well the normal way: cycling in opposite directions of one way streets, in between vehicles that have stopped on a red traffic light, hiding under a tree till the rain's over...

Miscellaneous

Yes I am still alive and no I do not fear (much) for my savety. I am having a great time exploring the city looking like a douchebag.

See ya, Tini

P.S.: Some impressions from the previous weekend

I need new clothes!

I am boring. My clothes are boring. I have come to this conclusion while visiting Camden Town Flee Market on Sunday.I mean come on. I couldn't even buy some earrings because they would have not matched any of my outfits. How pathetic is that? I will come back with a new style, new clothes and a huge debt. If I am buying all that gorgeous stuff that is.
Work's gotten better today although I have the impression I am understanding less English every day. Hopefully my brain is just doing a major reboot to organize the latest words (especially law related) and will spit it all out with an entirely new operating system. Otherwise I won't have a lot of fun...
Watched Dr.Who tonight and still: I love it. Tomorrow 7 p.m. freshly back from work! I like BBC.

Thanks for reading, Tini x

First week of the rest of my life

Hi there beloved readers,
thank you very much for sticking with me, because honestly I wouldn't. My entries if there were any got shorter and shorter and lacked completely of any kind of relevant information. But know any exams, rehearsals, movings, premieres and parties are over. OK, not the parties but the rest...so far.
I have finally arrived in London. The train ride was to be taken 6 and half hours but in the end it were more than 8. But I was warmly welcomed by my housemates here in Herne Hill and have a great room under the roof, my own bathroom and a lovely little cute garden.
Three days of work have passed and although there is not much to do (so far) the staff is really nice. The office is in the middle of the city right on the crossroads of Southwark Street and Borough High Street at London Bridge, directly across Borough Market. This jewel in the heart of the city will cost me a LOT of money...
Anyways I am having fun, more to come!





See ya, Tini

Of sunburns in London...

...and other things. I have arrived well, a gorgeous room, great roommates, great weather...need I say more??
Longer post about to come. I keep saying that, don't I

So long, guys and girls!
Love, Martina x (btw: what's the x standing for exactly? Everyone's doing one so I think I am just following some cryptic rules, although I don't know them...)

The end is near, Episode III

9 days, 5 tests to go... the final battle is very, very ugly...

The end is near, Episode II

14 days, 7 tests to go!

The end is near, Episode I

15 days, 8 tests to go...tomorrow is the first battle...civil law...resturn of the law jedi!

Good things come to those who wait

And boy have I waited. And waited. And hoped. And prayed. And worked. And so on...for nearly 8 months.
But today I finally got it: my official confirmation of my assignment to London!
From July - September I will have the opportunity to work with a London family law lawyer side by side. And the best thing about it (yes, it can get even better!): all of this will happen after my written exams. So I will actually have the opportunity to enjoy it!!

So long,
Tini

Send the dice!!!!

Hi folks!
I have a little question and a huge request: I need dice. Six-sided ones to be precisely. 300 in total to be even more specific. Colour or size don't matter. I need them for "Homo Ludens" (playing/playful human), our new theatre project in TiG 7, produced together with Sheffield's Third Angel. If you wanna know why you'll have to come and find out for yourself in June...
But I do not only want dice. I am also interested in the stories connected to them. Your best/worst/first/last/longest etc game.

If you have some lying around and don't need/want/use them any more, please contact me at tini@authenticfiction.net. And please tell all you friends, the more the better!

Thanks for your support!

Bye, Tini

Quick update!

Sheffield rules!!
Longer update (hopefully...) to come!

See ya lov,
Tini

Happy New Year!

Hallo alle zusammen,
lange nix gehört...ja.... sagen wir mal so, ich war entweder krank oder ich hatte 30 h/Tag was zu tun, was sich darauf zurückführen lässt, dass ich die andere Zeit krank war...ein Teufelskreis...
Egal: das Jahr ist endlich zu Ende, ich habe (mal wieder) einen Plan, wie das nächste aussehen soll (er wird, wenn ich Glück habe, bis zum 5.1. halten). Der beinhaltet: gutes (LOL) Examen im Juni. Ich will nämlich ab da nie, nie, nie wieder eine Klausur schreiben müssen. Ich meine das ernst. Wenn ich das nächste Mal ein Blatt mit der Überschrift "2. juristische Staatsprüfung Herbst 200..." in die Finger bekomme, dann wird der Bote getötet. Seine Schuld. Er ist hiermit gewarnt!
Was ist sonst so vorgefallen? Da ich ja schon so lange keine Schwänke mehr aus meinem Leben erzählt habe, hier ein paar Bilder:

Oktober 2008: Pazz Festival Oldenburg:


Das Weihnachtsgeschenk für meine Mutter: 6 Tage Arbeit und zwei wehe Handegelenke später (zur Info: mein Bruder hält die Decke hoch; er ist ca. 1,70 m groß):


So, hoffentlich gibt es im Januar mehr über meine Auslandspläne im Sommer, die haben sich leider wieder im Äther der modernen Kommunikation verflüchtigt...
Ich wünsche euch allen einen guten Rutsch und ein frohes Neues 2009!!!

Bis nächstes Jahr,
Tini


Hello everyone,
long time no see...well, either I was ill or I had to work for 30 h/d becuase I was ill the rest of the time...a vicious circle...
Anyway: the year's finally over, I (again) have a plan for next year (which will las until 5th of Jan if I'm lucky). It contains: a good (LOL) second state's examination in June. Because I never, ever, ever want to write another test again. I'm serious. The next time I get a oiece of paper on which is written "2nd juridical state's examination fall 200..." on top I will kill the messenger. His fault. He is hereby warned .
Anything else happend? Since I haven't been writing a lot lately there are a few pictures above. The first one is an impression of my trip to the pazz festival in Oldenburg, the second one my gift to my mother for Christmas. It took me six days and two sore wrists to knit it.

Hopefully in January I can tell you more about my plans going abroad in summer, which seem to have gotten lost in the depth of modern communication...
I wish you a happy new year 2009!
See ya,
Tini

Laaaaadieees and gentlemen....

Ein kurzer Blick in die gegnerische Ecke, einmal Kreisen mit dem Kopf, den Mundschutz rein. Der Gong ertönt, ein Raunen geht durch die Menge und ab geht’s.
Samstag, den 13.12.2008 um 19.30 Uhr in der Pflastermühle/Ladenburg werden die tapferen Improkämpfer wieder den Ring betreten, um sich gegenseitig den goldenen Improstern abzutänzeln.
Dabei treten neben der Titelverteidigerin Jule auch wieder der Vize Michel aus Stuttgart, sowie weitere Streiter aus Karlsruhe und Hamburg neben dem gewohnten Stehgreif und Guck Team an.
Wer also auf virtuelle Blutspritzer steht und sich vor Lachen nicht mehr auf dem Stuhl halten können will, der sollte sich dieses Ereignis nicht entgehen lassen. Glühwein und Waffeln gibt’s zur mentalen Stärkung, um den spannenden Krimi besser erleben zu können!!!!

Wir hoffen Euch zahlreich begrüßen zu können,
Eure Tini


A short glance to the opponent's corner, one more circling with the head, in the gumshield. The sound of the gong, a murmur in the crowd and here we go!
Saturday, 13 Dec 2008, 7.30 pm, Pflastermühle/Ladenburg: the brave Improv fighters will again enter the boxing ring to prance about the Golden Improv Star.
Titleholder Jule will compete against last year's second Michel from Stuttgart, along with fighters from Karlsruhe, Hamburg and of course Stehgreif und Guck.
So if you don't want to miss virtual spots of blood and roll on the floor laughing, you should not miss this event! Glühwein and waffles are there for mental backup!

We hope to see lot's of ya people,
so long, Tini

§$%&$/&$$%&!

Es ist doch zum heulen: ich will ja einmal in meinem Leben wirklich. Ich meine arbeiten. Deshalb habe ich einige Anwälte im schönen Vancouver angeschrieben, ob sie ausbilden - was sie laut dem dortigen deutschen Konsulat zumindest theoretisch tun. Tja, aber Papier war eben schon immer geduldig. Die eine ist im Urlaub, die andere kann aus ungenannten Gründen nicht. Eine Antwort steht noch aus. Aber die Hoffnung auf schöne drei Monate an der kanadischen Pazifikküste ist geschwunden.
Aber frau ist ja nicht untätig und sucht sich im Inland Unternehmen, die mit ihren ethischen Grundsätzen in der sozialen (?) Marktwirtschaft überleben. Anscheindend ohne Rechtsreferendare. Auch dort ne Absage. Ich seh schon: am Ende ruft vermutlich die BASF...soviel zu sozialer Verantwortung und Auslandsaufenthalt...
In diesem Sinne,

Tini


It's unbelievable: once in my time I really want to. Working that is. This is why I mailed some lawyers in beautiful Vancouver, if they take trainee lawyers - what they are doing according to the German consulate. Well, paper doesn't blush. One's on vacation the other has given no reason. I'm still waiting for one more answer. But my hope of three awesome months on the Canadian Pacific coast has vanished.
But I'm not idle and searching for a company here at home, that shares my ethical principles. They don'n need trainee lawyers. In the end I'm wokring for BASF... so much for social responsibility and working abroad...
So long,

Tini

Oh my...

Wahnsinn!!! Wieviel Zeit seit dem letzten Eintrag vergangen ist. Und was alles passiert ist... vor genau 3 Wochen war die Premiere für Hamlet im Theaterhaus TiG 7...und heute Abend (vermutlich) letze Vorstellung. Sieben Mal ausverkauftes Haus, tolle Kritiken, ein phänomenales Publikum: besser kann die Theatersaison gar nicht beginnen. 

Ich kann mich theatertechnisch im Moment wirklich nicht beklagen: das Stück, mein Improworkshop ist mit tollen Teilnehmern angelaufen, nächstes Wochenende statte ich dem Oldenburger pazz 08 einen Besuch ab, am 22.10. besuchen uns die kanadische Improgruppe Scratch...

Derweil schaut es auf der Arbeitsfront mal wieder nicht rosig aus. Ich hatte die völlig fasche Vorstellung, in der Wahlstation das ausprobieren zu können, was mir tatsächlich Spaß machen könnte. Tja, falsch gedacht! Zum einen ist das Land Ba-Wü das einzige (!) Bundesland dieser holden Republik, dass Amnestiy International NICHT als Wahlstation anerkennt - mit der Begründung Asylrecht gehöre nicht zur Wahlfachgruppe Verwaltung und daher könne eine wahlfachgerechte Ausbildung nicht erfolgen... was lustig ist, wenn man bedenkt, dass Ausländer- und Asylrecht Prüfungsstoff im schriftlichen Examen über das öffentliche Recht sind. Aber offensichtlich muss sich ein Verwaltungsjurist nicht im Asylrecht auskennen...was so manches erklären würde...

Mir bleiben also zwei Möglichkeiten ins Ausland zu gehen: entweder ich heuere bei einer NGO in Europa an, die etwas mit Europarecht zu tun hat (das dürften viele sein) oder ich suche mir einen ungeliebten Rechtsanwältinnenjob in Übersee. Das ist wohl meine einzige Möglichkeit, nach Kanada zu kommen, wie ich es ursprünglich geplant habe. Kurzgesagt: Work sucks...a lot!

Ich hätte es doch mit einer Schauspielschule probieren sollen, als ich noch jung und knackig war...

Wow!!!! How much time has passed since my last entry. And so much has happened... exactly three weeks ago we had the Hamlet premiere in the TiG 7 ... and tonight is (presumably) the last show. Seven times sold out, great reviews, a phenomenal audience: the season can't start any better!

I really can't complain on the theatre front: the play, my improv workshop has started with great participants, next weekend I'm visiting the Oldenburg pazz 08, the Canadian Improv group Scratch is staying in Ladenburg on 22nd of October...

The working front however is not that good again: I was under the impression that I could finally choose something I might like during my Wahlstation (a stage in my education I'm not bound to court, lawyers or administration, or so I thought...). But, guess again! My state is the only one out of 16 (!) in Germany, where Amnestiy International is NOT considered an appropriate stage - the reason is, that asylum law is not part of the elected subject "administration" and so it wouldn't be possible to provide a proper education - which is funny, considering the fact, that aliens and asylum law are part of the written second state examination in administration law... but obviously an administrative lawyer does not need to know asylum law... which would explain a few things...

So, for going abroad, there are two possibilities left: I either join a NGO in Europe, that has to deal with European law (which most of them have to) or I take an unloved lawyer's job overseas. This will be my only chance to go to Canada, as I originally had planned. To cut a long story short: WORK SUCKS!!! A LOT!!!!

I should have tried my luck in acting school when I was still a spring chicken...

So long, Tini

Waltzing Mathilda

Sie ist da. Und sie ist mein. Darf ich mein neues Baby vorstellen: Mathilda, geboren 1998, stolze 170 kg. Was für ein Wonneproppen. Dafür macht sie viel Lärm :-). Sehr zu meiner Freude und zum Ärger meiner Nachbarn. Aber na ja, was soll man machen...

She's here. And she's mine! May I introduce you to my new baby: Mathilda, born in 1998, 170 kg. What a little lump o sweetness. But she's making an awesome lot of noise :-). To my great delight and to the anger of my neighbours. Yeah well, what the hell...

Bei meiner ersten Tour kamen S. und ich in Sandhausen nach dem Eis essen an dieser sehr ausdrucksstarken Skulptur vorbeigekommen. Ich wollte nur dazugehören... 

On my first tour after eating some ice cream, S. and I came along this expressive sculpture. I just wanted to blend in...

Sweet future oh mine

Ich dachte, ich beteilige mich an der Zukunftsaktion von Frau Blasebalg, http://blaseblog.datensphaere.de/aktion-der-woche/der-nachste-mittwoch-ist-noch-fern/. Ich hab dazu viel zu sagen...oder auch nix.

Denn die Wahrheit ist: niemals in meinem Leben hab ich mich unsicherer gefühlt. Bisher war der Lebensweg immer vorgegeben. Abitur, danach etwas Gutbürgerliches studieren. Na ja, plötzlich ist man fertig. Aber zum Glück hat man in Jura ja noch das Referendariat, das einem nochmal zwei Jahre stielt, bevor man sich mit den anderen zahlreichen (oh ja, sehr zahlreichen) Absolventen um die sehr raren, einigermaßen gut bezahlten und von den Arbeitszeiten akzeptablen Abeitsplätzen die Ellenbogen blutig schlagen darf. Doch ich hab nur noch ein Jahr. Und ich habe das erste mal in meinem Leben wirklich Angst.

Nicht vor dem Examen. Ich hab das erste überlebt, da ist das zweite auch keine allzu große Schau mehr. Ja ich weiß, ein Jahr ist lang. Ein Jurist stellt sich grad auf den Kopf, wackelt mit den Füßen und schreit entsetzt: „WAS, NUR NOCH EIN JAHR? BIST DU DES WAHNSINNS?“ Ja, ein Jahr ist in Jura nix. Aber mal ganz ehrlich: sie bereiten dich auf die zwei mal zwei angeblich schlimmsten Wochen deines Lebens vor, in denen man mühsam ins Gehirn gestopftes Wissen, dass mindestens drei Brockhausbände füllt, in ca. insgesamt 150 Seiten handschriftlich in 35 Stunden zu Papier bringt. Auf das danach: da ist man allein. Und zwar völlig. Zumindest fühlt es sich so an.

Eines bekommt man früh an der ach so elitären Wirtschaftsuni Mannheim beigebracht: dein Nachbar ist dein Feind. Dein Konkurrent. Dein Gegner. Mit ihm darfst du lernen, dich austauschen, dich verbrüdern – solange es dir nützt. Sonst lass ihn bitte fallen und im Dreck liegend hinter dir (ist es nicht eine Ironie, dass es bei uns ausgerechnet das Fach Wirtschaftsethik gibt? Wer das wohl besucht, außer den Philosophen...). Und mit dieser Haltung geht man ins Berufsleben. Und wird in den großen Firmen bei Assessment Centern auf Herz und Nieren auf diese Verhaltensweise geprüft. Wer nicht besteht, wird fallen und im Dreck liegen gelassen.

Aber genau das will ich nicht. Das ist leider das Einzige, was ich weiß, das ich will. Der Rest ist schwarz. Komplett. Total. Absolut. So schwarz, dass ein schwarzes Loch schwarz vor Neid wird. Ich habe noch ein Jahr. Und ich habe Angst. Das ist im Moment meine Zukunft. Das ist alles, was ich weiß.

I thought, I'd write a comment on Frau Blasebalgs future project (see link above). I have a lot to say to that...or nothing at all.

The truth is: never in my life I felt more insecure. Till now my path of life was quite clear. Do A level. Enter unverisity. Study a decent, well respected subject. Suddenly, you are finished. But fortunately in laws in Germany, you get two more years stolen by the legal internship, before you ca joun the war about the very rare, reasonably paid jobs that don't come around with 60 to 70 h a week. But I have only one year left. And for the first time in my life I am really utterly scared.

Not because of the exam. I survived the first one, I can handle the second. I know, one year is a long time. A lawyer would go crazy, screaming: „ARE YOU MAD? JUST ONE YEAR LEFT?“ A year is nothing in laws. But honestly: they prepare you for the so called two worst weeks of you life, twicw I might add, in which you have to put down knowledge, that has been painfully stuffed into your brain and has about the dimension of a huge encyclopedia. But they forget the aftermath. So you are alone. Totally. At least it feels that way.

There is one thing they teach you in the oh so elitist economic university of Mannheim: your neighbour is your enemy. Your nemesis. Your rival. You may learn with him, consult with him, even fraternize with him – as long as he or she suits you. Otherwise you just let him or her fall down and lying in the dirt (what an irony, that there is the subject of economical ethics in Mannheim...who's joining that apart from philosophers...) And you start your professional life with this attitude. And in the big companies you are put through your paces if you can do that. Otherwise they let you fall an you are left in the dirt.

But this is not what I want. Unfortunately it's the only thing I know. The rest is blank. Completely. Utterly. Truly. So much a blank page would go green with envy. I still have one year. And I am scared. That's my future for the moment. That's all I know.